The de facto Aftermath

Technically, my exams aren't over yet, but I feel as though I've earned a reprieve after surviving the double whammy that was Chemistry 4 and Physics 4 today, as well as Bio 4 and Pure Maths last friday. For some reason, the scheduling monkeys at Cambridge decided to put the two papers with the highest percentage (38%!) on the same day. Somehow, today felt like the de facto climax of the whole exam season, because I probably won't be feeling the same degree of stress that I've had the past few days.

Honestly, the stress has been so bad the past few days that not only have I been able to sleep only after tossing and turning for about an hour, my dreams have consisted of twisted permutations of infinitely large exam halls and human-sized A4 papers that try to smother while I keep trying to fall asleep. And then I have to get up to study to calm myself down.

To be frank, all this stress is completely my own fault. I really did not work anywhere near as hard as I should have, and I spent part of Tuesday night wondering how in the name of all things holy I managed to pull myself into this supermassively ginormous black hole.

OK, so I'm pushing the boundaries of credible vocabulary. But the last-minute pressure was really something I hadn't experienced before, so much so that I almost wanted to throw in the proverbial towel. Or in this case, several tonnes of notes, exercises and past-year questions. (Well, maybe not tonnes; kilos would be more realistic. But that's still a lot.)

But anyway, I managed to get through it. And I should be going through my notes for my resit of physics practical tomorrow. I think it'll be ok though, it takes up only 12% of the overall marks, and I think practical for physics is considerably easier and more straightforward than say, chemistry, which always has the potential for unmitigated catastrophe .

I finish exams on tuesday, which is only 6 days away! A Levels will be done and dusted. Woot!

Tagged - by Jun Yow

Personal Details

1. What's your name? Darren Cheah.
2. If you could change your name what would it be? Jericho. Well, it's my blog name.
3. What is your age? 18.
4. What is the age your waiting for to come? 19.
5. Whats your address? Taman Melawati. I'm not giving the full address alright? After that I kena stalked.
6. If you can stay anywhere, where would you stay? Antarctica. But given it's slightly lacking modern civilization, maybe Ireland instead.
7. When was the last time you cried? Last year's Overnight Vigil.
8. When did you have the best sleepover? The last sleepover I had was the Sunway thing. I'm not sure if that counts; after all, it was six of us in one hotel room with one bed.
9. What was the last song you heard? Amy Winehouse - Back to Black.
10. When was the most dramatic and sad crying moment you've ever had? At last year's Overnight Vigil, during the Adoration. It was like Niagara Falls.
11. When was the last time you said "I Love You" to the girl you love? The last time is yet to come.
12. What were your last words for the person you love and now she's gone? You lost me at goodbye.
13. When was the last time you hugged someone? I don't remember. I don't hug people that often, honestly.
14. Had any love letters, song dedicated to you, roses, chocolates or other stuff relating to love? Nope. Shouldn't these questions come under the 'about love' section?
15. If you answered yes to question 14 then when was the first time you got it? The first time would be the first time la. Obviously it won't be the second time.
16. Who was the last person you chat with on msn? I don't remember. Heck, I haven't been on MSN for weeks.
17. Has a girl ever called you handsome? Nope. If she did, I'll be on the guard for hidden agendas.
18. Has a girl ever liked you before? I dunno. How would I know anyway?
19. Do you actually love your enemies? I don't have any enemies. At least, I don't think so.
20. Do you like someone? Plenty of people. Family and friends, for instance.
21. Do you hate your family at times? Very seldom nowadays. That's a good thing right?
22. Are you blessed to be who you are today? Absolutely.
23. Are you a rule-breaker? Depends on the rule. And the consequences.
24. Did you cry yourself to sleep before? No. How can you fall asleep lying on a wet pillow anyway?
25. Are you Asian? No. Earth-dweller.
26. Are you in love with a movie star? YES! I have a secret *fill in any random celebrity* scrapbook where I keep my beloved's sweet wrappers and used tissues.
27. Are you gay? Methinks not.
28. Have you ever eaten something rotten and it taste good? No, I can usually smell the rottenness first.
29. Do you prefer girls or boys better? They're both good :)
30. Do you think one of your friends will become a beggar when they grow up? Perhaps. But it wouldn't count, since the poeple I have in mind are probably not my friends.
31. Would you rather lick peanut butter of a hobo's foot or lick it of your dog's butt? I would have to observe the state of the prospective foot and/or butt.
32. Would you rather give up your books or your music collection for a month? Music. I like my books. But I have the radio and TV on most of the time. So that might be a problem.
33. Would you rather eat the same food for one whole week or eat ants for one whole week? The same food la. But I were eating for one whole week, I'd still be eating the same food for one whole. Is this some kind of trick question?
34. Would you rather stick your head into a trash can or into a river full of trash? Trash can. The Klang River and Gombak River are radioactive. It's just a hypothesis though; I don't want to be the one to test it.
35. Would you rather have the same old subject with different teachers or different subjects with the same teacher? Is it possible for one teacher to be able to teach many different subjects?

About Love

1. Name 3 guys you like as brothers. I'd rather have them as friends.
2. Why do you like them as brothers? Because I don't like them as friends.
3. Name 3 girls you like as sisters. Again, rather them be my friends.
4. Why do you like them as sisters? See no. 2.
5. Name 3 teachers you like. Alex Chan, Chuah SP, Mr. Ganesh.
6. Why do you like them? Alex - because my foundation in chemistry is rock solid. Chuah - because I think he might haunt me if I didn't put him here. Come to think of it, I don't think he ever cared about being liked. Ganesh - because Benjamin made him seem like a godsend.
7. Would you cry if the ones on top you mentioned for the boys, girls, teachers died tomorrow? Well, Chuah's moved on. And I didn't cry. I did write that very nice tribute though.
8. What is love? Love is not hate.
9. When did you found out about love? In my lifetime.
10. Do you hate them sometimes? Oh yes. I hate "them" a lot.
11. What colour shirt are you wearing now? Green.
12. What colour is your pants? Dark blue.
13. What are you doing? Attempting to study Electromagnetism. But obviously I'm blogging instead.
14. How do you feel? Hungry. And stressed and strained. I must have a very, very high Young Modulus (understandable only for those who study physics).

For some reason all my tags seem to come from Jun Yow. Anyway, I tag anyone on my list who hasn't done this yet.

Point Form

Right. First of all, my blog has not become extinct. It's just been dormant, like a volcano. Yes, I just compared my blog to a volcano. But I have a valid excuse, unfortunately which has almost everything to do with my trial and impending exams. I have been excessively lazy to update as well, but I don't think that qualifies as an excuse.

OK, so since it's been two months since I last had any digital contact with this blog (or any other online journal, for that matter), I shall take a cue from Amelia and attempt to shorten the tales of the past two months into point form.

• Ironically, I'm typing this from the CIT, when I just held my ground against temptation (well, Daryl and Vishal actually) to go cybercafeing. Oh, I know, people will think, since when does Darren ever go to CC? Just once before actually; but you can never go wrong with computer games that involve visceral violence and mass destruction on a digital scale.
• Dammit, that was too long. This is supposed to be in point form!
• Trials was dreadful. The only thing I will say is that bio, physics and chem are now on equal ground. Let's leave that and move on.
• A2 is in 3 weeks. That, boys and girls, is a very, very short time.
• Celebrated Kern Wen's birthday on Friday. It was great to see everyone again. I find it interesting that everything is still the same even though I only see them every several weeks, and months sometimes.
• I think captainball is the only exercise I've been getting for the past 2 1/2 months.
• I am going to be involved in another performance thingy for church, this time about the life of St. Paul. Not that I had much of a choice, Mum's already been in discussions for weeks.
• Sha just told me that I should be studying; this is my response.
• After exams: Redang trip with college mates, 13th-16th June; Langkawi trip (hopefully I can go this time) with school friends, I don't know when; Shan and Laura coming home, 20th June to 11th July (that's the plan).
• I might go to Australia next year to study, though nothing certain yet. I really wish I had been more proactive about my university prospects.
• I am now an official church organist. It started with church piano, so one might say that I've been upgraded (or downgraded, depending on your disposition).
• I had my IELTS last Saturday, which went better than I thought it would, especially the Speaking component.
• I'm resitting AS physics. Even more reason to study.

I can't believe I actually remembered to do this (by Jun Yow and Cheryl):

DIRECTION: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At last, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

1. I've always wanted to visit Antarctica.
2. I have a thing for geology and astronomy. I have a thing for science in general, actually.
3. The Biggest Loser is my new favourite reality show.
4. The one thing I always do when I go online is to check the tennis news.
5. Speaking of which, tennis is the only sport which I care about.
6. My mum is a Manchester United fan; but my brother's for Liverpool.
7. I just don't get football; honestly I couldn't care less if both MU and Liverpool get relegated over Portsmouth and Wigan Athletic.
8. My favourite place in any mall is the bookstore. Say or think what you will.
9. I don't really like sharing books. If I do lend books, there are certain rules the borrower must adhere to. Not so much about textbooks though. I have gotten a little better since my school days.
10. I happen to also enjoy comics. There, I have variation in my reading!
11. I think I watch the E! channel a bit too much.
12. I have a memory for selected and totally unnecessary information.
13. I once painted one of my nails during bio practical.
14. I have seven bags of plastic under my desk which I will take for recycling once I learn how to drive. Which will be very,very soon. After my exams anyway.
15. What the heck's so great about Mafia and Restaurant City?
16. I tend to overthink things. Like how I just spent the last one minute trying to think of the last random thing.

I shall tag --

• Sha ~ because she's told me several times to update my blog and I didn't.
• Sarah ~ since we're formerweds.
• Phraveen ~ I'm not sure if he even knows I have a blog.
• Alyssa ~ just for the sake of doing so.
• Leconte ~ just to fill the last space. And I'm quite sure he won't do this.

I'm not sure I should go to the library or go home. Either way, I need to study. How many times did I mention that I need to study? OK, I should stop now.

Quick Update

Alright alright, I know I have been neglecting my blog of late. Fine, not of late, for the past month.

Honestly, I'm feeling rather tired at the moment, and I don't any inspirational energy to write smart or interesting. Not to mention I have extra classes tomorrow. So this is just something for February and to let people know that I haven't completely abandoned this blog. And that I haven't died yet either.

Oh, and Happy belated Birthday Chin Hong! All right, I should confess that I don't remember the exact date of your birthday, just that it's in late February. And sorry for missing your party! So I hope this will be good enough.

And because she has pestering me to say so the last couple of times I saw her, it shall be stated that Cheryl is an awesome driver. Except for that slight mishap with the ticket booth and potted plant. Don't pretend you don't remember!

Back to the Ball and Chain

Ahh... so college began once more on Monday. It's almost like going back to school, as we follow the public school holidays. All new timetables, some new lecturers, and somehow I feel like I'm already back to college routine even after five weeks of holidays.

For instance, today I asked my applied maths lecturer what'll be coming out for the upcoming tests. Yes, on the second day of the new semester. The disturbing thing is that I only realized the kiasuness when Harn reminded that it was indeed the second of the new semester. This is what happens when one has trials by the end of March and has to finish studying A2 by then. Which is quite a lot and a period of time which will pass faster than we realize.

Blegh... again I'm blogging too much on college stuff. Honestly I couldn't think of anything else to blog about. I have to try to blog on other things.

And I suppose I should apologize to those people (ahem) that freaked out when I posted about the pseudo-release of AS results in my panic-induced stupor. And for correcting it 10 days late. Ahem. Ahem.

2009!

2009 has officially begun! Muahahaha... Anyway, I have decided to list out resolutions for the new year; though whether or not they will be done is another matter altogether...

1. Work my ass off (and any other body part if I have to) to do well for my A2.
2. Have a definite plan for university and courses by March.
3. Lose all (or at least 75%) of my body fat and become healthier and fitter.
4. Not run away when I see people with whom I'm afraid of experiencing (imagined or feared) awkward conversations or situations.
5. Give birthday and christmas presents to family.
6. Further increase my piano-playing skills and knowledge in basic music theory and harmony.
7. Continue learning to play my violin, and not lose my patience even if it makes my ears bleed.
8. Get some kind of music player.
9. Learn to f***ing drive, and not put it off for 2010.
10. Be as environmentally conscious as financially possible.
11. Be more friendly, sociable and outgoing.
12. Don't be afraid to speak or to be myself.
13. Open up more to friends and family.
14. Always think the best of others.
15. Take chances (sensible ones, anyway).
16. Be more optimistic and relaxed in everthing I do.

And that, good readers, is what I plan to do for myself in 2009. I wonder if it's more than the usual number of resolutions than people normally do. Hmm... Anyway, cheers to a great 2009, everyone! :D

2008

Life is always so full of ironies. I've been putting off blogging for the past few days, so to save time for today's post, being the last day of the year. Originally, I had wanted to write about a (ahem)contemplative and retrospective reflection on my year that was 2008. This kind of deep thinking (ahem, again) usually takes a while, and since I've been out of the house for most of the day, and I have to get ready to go for New Year's Eve mass in about an hour, there really won't be sufficient time.

So I'll just keep it simple. It really just feels like another day, even though the next day I'll be stepping into a brand new year. 2008 was the first year I'd spent out of school, and my first year as a college student. Though I have to say, I feel like I've been studying more than anything else. The only difference is that I am more independent, and there's no longer the burden of school uniforms.

And this year I feel as though I've really grown as a person, more figuratively than literally (I think I've already maxed my height. Oh well.) I don't really know how to explain it; but I just feel less afraid of being open with people, of trusting them, of being friendly and proactive. Not completely anyway, I still many ways to go. And I've also learnt the value of good friends and family. There, I hope I've managed to say it without getting too schmaltzy. And there's a bunch of other stuff too, but I can't really fit it in now.

So I think I'm more or less ready for 2009. Hopefully :)